eye's hindsight, vol 10

its a wonder i dont have a criminal stupidity record, part 3
spiders
*keep your <0>s open for easter eggs...*
it was late. pitch dark.

and there was trouble. we were in big trouble. everything was going wrong.

trebomb didnt mean for that gun to go off. it was an accident. and the fact that some guy got in the way was nothing but terrible luck.
a smarmy marvin-hatted trebomb
we were all but caught. the red and blue flashers glared in the rear view of the beastly '77 ford ltd. it was a dead end that we unknowingly had pulled into - a thin, graffiti'd wall running between buildings lined the horizon up ahead of us.

music from the stereo blared, playing a song called "spiders" from the soundtrack for the movie ransom - a squealy distorted guitar cranked out the same intense rhythm as the drums: bah-dah bah-dah bah-dah bah-dah bum bum. it heightened the tension. it was a chance, but we figured that big american hunk of steel could take out that wall and ease our getaway...

the tires shrieked as trebomb slammed down on the accellerator and we peeled out...

it worked. the wall fell away in our wake like it was made of cardboard. we quickly swerved to the left on the other side of the wall...

and another squad car came from out of nowhere and cut us off. we skidded to a halt just inches from hitting the passenger door of the cop car. it was all over. the game was up. without warning, trebomb opened the door and ran before the cops could even get out of their squads. when i saw him pause and turn back with his gun in hand, i ducked as low as i could behind the dashboard. i heard the pops, i couldnt count, i think he emptied the clip. and then nothing but the sound of his retreating footsteps. everything was still except the flashing red and blue that filled the car...
.
.a mischievous young cold bones
.
alright, fine. not true. it was actually a vague retelling of the beginning of the plotline for a music video that trebomb, cold bones, and i made back in the day (again, i took a minor part, it was mostly bones and tre). i took a lot of liberties in plotline, though, in my telling... i just thought it sounded good. but the plotline is mainly unimportant.

so heres how it really went. for the percussive beginning beat of the song "spiders", the car was to slam through a wall of cardboard boxes that we had built and graffitti'd.

we were in a gravel lot behind the building where cold bones worked at the time, and had permission to be back there by the stores owner. so i sat in my ltd, waited for the cue, slammed down on the accellerator and plowed through the boxes.

apparently, it looked pretty awesome, but they wanted another take. for posterity or something. so we took the time to re-set the boxes and add a bit more graffitti (to make it look like it was supposed to be that way, since it wasnt set up the same way the second time).

i jumped back in the car, turned on the headlights, waited for the cue, and threw all caution to the wind as i pushed the pedal to the floor. the wheels squealed as they spun in place on the gravel. they caught, and i accellerated as quickly as the gigantic car would allow, and slammed through the boxes again. i began to veer left, as that was the only direction i could go without hitting trees or the camera crew.

and out of nowhere, suddenly there were blue and red lights flashing to my left. i slammed on my breaks and stopped as quickly as the gravel would allow, as the cop car cut around me and parked right in front of the car.

a young, thin, fro'd the EYE

apparently they got a noise complaint call, and they came to check it out. as they were driving by, yours truly was peeling out the second time. they heard the squeeling tires, and pulled right on in. great timing on my part, huh? they told us to stop driving recklessly if we were going to continue making the film. which we did. we had all the footage we needed, and that was all that was needed of the car. and then they left, not a ticket written, not a violation cited.
mysterious crime boss teg
the cool thing was that bones and teg (camera man,and also played an even smaller role than i/eye) kept the camera kept rolling. the camera sat in the back seat of the car while the cops talked to us. obviously, it just made the video WAY better, so we used the footage of the cop car stopping me in the video. and of course, we thanked the police department in the end of the video.