so what's the knuckle head currently up to? have a peek after you finish looking around here.

3/25/2006

mirrored shades - the eye reflects, vol. 1

multiple amputees

its been a while, and i apologize. its been busy. but thats no excuse.

in this new column, id like to reflect on things that i thought were funny in my past (not in a laugh at me sort of way, which would be the point of "hindsight with the eye"... more like jokes that i thought were funny, or situations that i thought were funny in a non-humiliating or cynical way). maybe itll be a failure.

i used to love these jokes (even if some might consider them non-pc... and to them i say...).

i think my dad taught most of them to me... but then, while trying to remember them, i may have made most of them up...

anyway - through the amazing magic of technology, the answers to the jokes are hidden... to reveal them, simply click on the first asterisk, and drag to the other asterisk before releasing your mouse button.

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs in front of your door?
*matt*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the water?
*bob*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a mailbox?
*bill*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a piece of paper?
*mark*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs with a tread mill?
*jim*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
*art*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole?
*doug*

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the dirt?
*pete*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an empty bank vault?
*rob*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a stage?
*mike*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs with a toilet?
*john*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the floor of a barber shop?
*harry*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the trunk of a car?
*jack*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs with a nasty hangover?
*ralph*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a fireplace?
*cole*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs with a saddle?
*horace*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a garden?
*herb*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a poker table?
*holden*

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs behind a speeding car?
*chase*

and my personal favorite (and ems too)...

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs rolling through a pile of leaves?
*russell*

ok, im spent. got any more? drop them in the comments section.

5 Comments:

Blogger Yvonne said...

Those were great! For the record - you got those from me - but you definitely came up with way more than I ever told!

11:58 AM  
Blogger Cold Bones said...

I think they sound a little snappier (and less PC) when you come right out and say "quadroplegic" instead of dancing around the issue.

2:34 AM  
Blogger trebomb said...

Actually, I believe a quadriplegic is someone who is paralized from the neck down, not an amputee. Although some would still be relevant.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Cold Bones said...

I believe you are correct, Sir. I did about 30 seconds of research and discovered 2 things. 1) We both spelled "quadraplegic" wrong 2) this is really messed up.

I've always heard those jokes with "quadraplegic" replacing "no arms and no legs" - although they are very different things.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Lori said...

What do you call a man with no arms he does however have 1 leg and he needs to shave. Nick
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs laying on a grill? Patti
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Les
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? Bill

10:59 PM  

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